Okufanele Ukwenze Lapho Umngane Wakho Omshado Efuna Ukuba Ngaphansi Kancane
Ingabe umzimba womkakho ushintshile kusukela ushada? Noma mhlawumbe ungowesifazane okhungathekile ukuthi umyeni wakho usehlelekile. Ingabe kunengqondo ukucela oshade naye ukuba anciphise? Ezimweni eziningi, ochwepheshe bayavuma ukuthi akufanele nanini ulahlekelwe isisindo somunye umuntu. Kodwa uma umyeni wakho noma umkakho ekucela ukuthi ulahlekelwe isisindo, kungase kube khona ngaphezulu emgqeni ongayicabangela.
Ingabe Umkakho Kufanele Alahle Isisindo Somshado?
Kukhona inkolelo evamile ukuthi akufanele neze ulahlekelwe isisindo (noma wenze ushintsho lomzimba) ukuze wenze abanye abantu bajabule. Kodwa leyo mpendulo elula ngeke ilandise indaba yonke uma kwenzeka ubuhlobo obuzibophezelekile. Amadoda nabafazi bavame ukwenza izinguquko ngenxa yomshado wabo.
Isibonelo, ukuzuza kwesisindo somkakho kungase kusho ukuthi uchitha isikhathi esincane ndawonye noma uzizwe ungathintwa kancane. Isibonelo, uma abantu ababili bakha ubudlelwane mayelana nokuhlanganyela emisebenzini yomzimba futhi indoda noma umfazi akakwazi ukuhlanganyela, ikhwalithi yobuhlobo ingase ihlupheke. Uma kunjalo, bobabili abalingani bangase bakhethe ukuthola omunye umsebenzi wokubambisana noma umlingani owedlula ngokweqile angakhetha ukunciphisa.
Ungase futhi ukhathazeke ngempilo yakho yezokwelapha noma umyeni wakho. Umlingani onomgomo omuhle angacela ukuthi umlingani wakhe alahlekelwe isisindo nje ngokukhathazeka ngokuphila kwabo isikhathi eside nenhlalakahle.
Uma oshade naye ezimisele ukunciphisa isisindo, kungaba ithuba lokuba bobabili abalingani bamukele impilo entsha , ukuzivocavoca nokudla .
Ingabe Umyeni Wakho Noma Ukuqhathaniswa Kakhulu Kunomfazi Okuncane Okukhangayo?
Ungase uzizwe ukuthi umkakho usuke engacabangi kakhulu ngenxa yesisindo sakhe. Noma mhlawumbe umyeni wakho akabukeka njengelungile njengoba enza ngosuku lwakhe lomshado.
Ngakho-ke kunengqondo ukuwacela ukuba ashintshe? Ungamangala ukuzwa lokho abanye ochwepheshe abakushoyo.
UDkt. Mike Abrams, uprofesa wezokwelapha oqinisekisiwe wezokwelapha kanye noprofesa wezokwelapha eNew York University uthi kungase kube kufanele ukulahlekelwa isisindo uma kunokungafani okuphawulekayo ngobukhulu bomshado.
UDkt. Abrams wabhala incwadi ethi The Art and Science of Rational Eating , ehlola izihloko zokulahlekelwa kwesisindo, kubandakanya isithombe somzimba nokumukelwa komzimba. Uthi, "Uma umuntu oyedwa eba nzima kakhulu, lishintsha ukulinganisela kokukhangisa okuhambisanayo." Ukuheha okuhlobeneyo kuchaza indlela abalingani abazizwa ngayo ukuthi baqhathaniswa nomunye ngokwemibono yokubonakala komzimba. U-Abrams uthi konke ubudlelwane busekelwe kuloluhlelo ngezinga elithile.
Enye iqiniso elidabukisayo, u-Abrams uthi, ngisho nalapho abantu bebuhlobo obuhle, "bafuna ukuthuthukisa." Kuyingxenye yemvelo yethu ukubona abanye abalingani abangase babe khona futhi bacabange ukuthi singalinganisa kanjani noma sizobambisana ukhetho. I-Abrams ixoxa ukuthi leli qiniso elilukhuni lingadlala kanjani lapho kube khona ushintsho olukhulu ekubukeni komlingani wakho.
"Uma ushintsha ukulinganisela kokulinganisela ebuhlotsheni, ukhuthaza umngane wakho womshado ukuthi afune ukuthi lokho kuthuthukiswe ngokuhle kakhulu, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo unciphisa ikhono lakho lokuthuthukisa."
Yiqiniso, ngenxa yokuthi umyeni wakho noma umkakho ukwedlula ngokweqile akusho ukuthi akuthandi, futhi akusho ukuthi kuthuthukiswe. Kodwa noma yikuphi ukuguqulwa kokubukeka kunamandla okushintsha indlela umlingani ngamunye abheka ngayo ukukhangisa komunye umlingani .
Ingabe Kufanele Ucele Umngane Wakho Okwengeziwe Ukulahlekelwa Isisindo?
Yini oyenzayo uma ufuna umkakho ukuba alahlekelwe isisindo futhi unamandla? Noma kuthiwani uma ungumkayo futhi umyeni wakho ufuna ufuna ukwehla? U-Abrams uthi ukucela umlingani ukuba alahlekelwe isisindo akufani neze nokubabuza noma yikuphi ukuguqulwa okungokwenyama okuphawulekayo njengokubhoboza umzimba noma ukuhlinzeka nge-plastic.
Yengeza isimo esimweni sobuhlobo.
Ebudlelwaneni, isimo se-conditionality sinezela ukuthi "uma" ekuxhumaneni phakathi kozakwethu. Isibonelo, uma ufuna umlingani wakho ukuba alahlekelwe isisindo ukuze akhangele ngokwengeziwe, isitatimende esinemibandela esicacile ukuthi: Ngizokhanga nakakhulu uma ulahlekelwa isisindo. Lelo hlobo lombhalo, lisho noma cha, linganezela ingcindezi engadingekile kumlingani oqine kakhulu.
U-Abrams uphakamisa ukuthi uma ungumfazi owedlula ngokweqile noma umyeni futhi awufuni ukunciphisa umzimba, ungacela oshade naye ukuba alinde uze ulungele ukwenza ushintsho ngokwakho. Uphinde uphakamise ukuthi unikeza ukukhipha.
Ukuhlehlisa kungase kuhilele ukuphenya ukuthi ngabe isicelo sokulahlekelwa isisindo sisho noma cha ngesisindo. Kwezinye izimo, kungase kube ngenye into ehlukile, njengekhono lakho lokuhlanganyela emisebenzini yomzimba. Abrams ukuphakamisa ukubuza imibuzo elandelayo: Ingabe konke lokhu akujabuli ngempela? Zikhona yini ezinye izinto esingasebenza ngazo ebuhlotsheni?
Ukuhlambalaza Kwemfuyo Emshadweni Wakho
Lapho umngane noma omaziyo enza amazwi ahlekisa ngesisindo sakho , kubi kakhulu. Kodwa uma lezo ziphakamiso zivela kumlingani wakho, imiphumela eyingozi ingaba yinkimbinkimbi. Ngisho nalapho imibono ihlelwe njengamahlaya, ukukhuluma mayelana nosayizi womzimba kubangela ukuhlazeka nokuhlazeka futhi akukaze kuphumelele ekutholeni umuntu ukuba alahlekelwe isisindo. Kwabesifazane abaningi, namadoda, ukusebenzisa igama elithi "amanoni" liyadambisa.
UDkt. Abrams uphakamisa ukuthi bobabili abalingani kumele bahlole intukuthelo nobutha ngemuva kwamazwana. Kubalulekile, uthi, ukuthola ukuthi kungani kukhona isifiso sokuhlazisa umuntu othandekayo. Kwezinye izimo, le ngxoxo ingenzeka ngosizo lomeluleki noma umshayeli womshado.
Yonke imishado ihamba ngokushintsha nezingqinamba. Uma ushintsho ngosayizi wakho noma usayizi wesifazane wakho lube ngumthombo weyodwa yalezo zinkinga, xhumana nomlingani wakho futhi uthathe isikhathi sokwenza isinqumo esifanele wena futhi uvumele ubuhlobo bakho. Uma umyeni wakho noma umkakho ekhetha ukunciphisa , msekele ngokwenza ushintsho olunempilo ekhaya nasekuphileni kwakho ukuze ukwazi ukuhamba impilo enempilo ndawonye.